I am a freshly turned 24-year-old African-American male with a college education and working hard toward my goals. Currently working a day job and working on a couple start-up projects, writing almost at full time and attempting to have some sort of social life. I have friends that are engaged, already married or might as well be and I love them for it. But recently, in my dating experiences, I’ve interacted with women who have hopes of being married in the next two to three years. For me, that’s a timeline that doesn’t work, which leads to the question: Should I focus less on my career and more on dating?
Personally, the immediate answer is no. I won’t hesitate to provide that answer regarding myself and will stand by it. But, oddly enough, I have been on the receiving end on a couple of cliché, yet possibly valid, statements. “You make time for what you want.” “You can focus on work right now, but you can end up lonely.” “Don’t miss out on a good thing while it’s standing in front of you.” Is this really what I’m facing? Must I be damned into forever no-bae life because I didn’t go full-force on making things happen for myself while I’m still under the age of 25?
Don’t get me wrong here; I am not opposed to dating. If and when there is a woman that has my attention I know how to set time away to be an adequate companion, but I have always had a vision for myself when I am ready to be a husband. I want to be established in my career. I want to be fully financially responsible. I want to be able to be secure with where my future is headed. Am I there now? Not 100%, but I’m working on it.
The work force of today is highly competitive, the next idea can be in your brain on Thursday and on it’s way to making millions as a start-up by Monday. Is it bad that I have a focus on building myself?
Besides, what’s the point of rushing? We’re young! We don’t get these years in our early 20s for long. We don’t have the opportunity to freely travel, find what we like to do and experience everything we can before being legally linked and locked in love for what should be until death bids us adieu. Use it.
At a time when I am working to fulfill my own dreams should I sacrifice most of that time to finding my wife? I’d say I’ve still got some time.