Work-Love Balance: In a Hopeless Place

I’ll be the first to admit that dating sounds good in theory. Dating is a lot like the job hunt: you look nice, ask questions, answer them, and consider what to say if you get called with an offer. Sure, a job is great, but who likes putting in all those applications? I’m interested in dating … kinda. I mean, I’m open to it. It just sounds exhausting. Mostly, though, I’m just not sure where to start. I’m in the real world now. No school full of guys, no schedule full of free time on my hands. I know where to search for jobs, what people like to see on resumes. That’s a little different. But where do people go – what to people do – to find love?

Of course, there are dating sites, even dating apps, places where people go to specifically put up their picture and information in the hopes of getting hit on. As opposed as I was to the idea initially, it’s not that different from putting my picture up on other social media accounts. Even if we aren’t asking for dates, people are paying us attention, and vying for ours. LinkedIn is pretty similar to Facebook, just with a professional twist – people are just as likely to end up in your messages there as anywhere else. So would a dating site really be all that different than having a Twitter or Instagram account? Honestly, probably not. It would definitely be a lot more direct, but for me personally, also a bit drastic. I’m not sure I’m ready to dive in that deeply just yet. So that alone limits my options a little.

Let’s be honest: the places people say you’ll meet someone? Completely unrealistic. How often do actually call that guy you meet in the club? Be honest. Are you really going to meet that cute guy at Starbucks if you don’t drink coffee? Of course not. And I must go to the wrong gym, because instead of single men, I always seem stuck near people singing along – outloud – to their workout playlists. As if that would ever be cute. And church? Everyone at church is already coupled up, holding hands as they walk out the chapel and back to their cars in the parking lot. I can’t catch a break!

If I were more serious about being serious with someone, maybe I would be a little more disappointed. Seriously dating is something I’m only considering and not quite completely committed to right now. It’s just something to laugh about, another part of my life as a twenty-something that I can’t figure out.

It’s not you, though, it’s me. I’m sure I’m going about things wrong: not open minded enough, not out in the right places at the right times. I’m still adjusting to working all day and just wanting to sleep all night. Things still aren’t balanced. Maybe once I can change my motivation I can change my mind. Maybe once I commit to the idea of commitment, the things I see will change. Who knows? I could meet him in the places I actually go, like the bookstore, or while I’m getting my groceries. It could be an introduction by a mutual friend that’ll have me practically free falling for someone. Maybe, or … maybe not. I think I have to be all in to fall in love. Of all places I could go looking, I think it’s simpler than that. Maybe committing to a solid stance on how I feel about dating is where I should start right now. No shade to Starbucks.

About emartin09 (4 Articles)
E. Martin is an educator, blogger, and freelance writer. She can be found laughing the loudest, finishing a bag of Sourpatch kids, or roaming a Target aisle. You can find more of her writing at

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